Well- That's it folks. ( is anyone even reading this?) The shiny star in our family passed away at 4 am today. Its a sad day for everyone, and i can be honest and say i am doing my fair share of blubbering. I do okay for a little while, then have these smell sensations.. memories of my grandmother and her life.. what i am familiar with. Mary Ursula Kelly Coleman was THE coolest woman i know. ( knew.. is that weird now? yes it is. ) She at 90 years old drank scotch, told jokes, sang loud and loved everyone with all her heart. She watched wrestling and soccer.. couldn't be bothered with drama or frustration. She told it like it is.
She made THE BEST HOME MADE BREAD you have ever tasted. Any one of my aunts/uncles/cousins/sisters anyone who knew her knows this. I keep thinking about that bread, toast with delish tea around 6 or 7 years old with nan. It was a tradition. A daily homage to the bounty we have and to memories. That's what makes this so sad I think, My grandmother made memories. I should be happy knowing that is what I have of her- but it kills me to know.. that's all i have now. No new ones. Before her strange and immediate rush to the hospital she had knee surgery and was in a re-hab clinic for a week or two. she hated it. HATED. she knew what was going on, she was outrageously aware for being 90.. she worked hard on moving her leg around and got pissed off when it started to hurt her.
The last meal we shared was a MC Donald's kids meal. My oldest sister and I brought her something she actually wanted to eat- as she hated the food there at this clinic.
Oh my gawd did she love that mini burger and fries. Oh! and she had a sprite. amazing.
Last Thursday, we thought she was going to die- the doctor gave us a terrible reality telling us she will be not leaving the hospital and may not make it through the night. She did. And for 7 days later... That night she woke up. like out of a dream, totally alert and calm. She asked my aunt if she was going to die tonight, my aunt assured her she didn't have to if she wanted- but if you see her family and they are telling you to come hang out.. do it. and don't be scared.
She was not. I saw her just before she fell into a coma. She told me to go home and have some whiskey, and have one for her. while this was hilarious and awesome- incredibly painful. At this point I realized those were the last words she said to me late last Thursday.
I write this with tears streaming down my face, I don't want to be a bummer. Or a blog you read and say, yup- that was the most depressing thing i've read since you found out lost was over. Its just real. Real everything.
My boyfriend is trying to comfort me in telling me shes way happier where she is now. She cant hear us crying for her, and is probably giggling at how we are acting like blubbering idiots. She would probably tell us all to grow up and go play outside with a big smirk on her face.
I am really hoping my work and wsib will be patient with me- these past two weeks have been horrible. Off to write a letter to my boss explaining my past two weeks. Oh joy.
This post is to my friends,my cousins, my aunts, my uncles, my sisters & the boys who love us, my parents and of course my amazing grandmother who will be painfully missed, but a joy to remember.
....
You think there is a heaven?
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